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Tourism: ‘Go South’ Is The New Slogan

Veegaland: South India’s Most Promising Destination

Focus: Minister's heady cocktail of poetry and sex

 
IS THE POLICE COMMISSIONER ON THE ROUND?

The question asked by a well-known editor, very innocently, was indeed not meant to dig a scoop. But it turned out to be one and shocked and surprised the Delhi Police cops. Just driving by the Police Headquarters the other day, his car was stopped by a group of policemen for a thorough check-up. The law abiding but curious editor stopped and submitted himself to the thorough police search, which, as usual, was destined to yield nothing, for everything explosive and destructive is generally stored in the head of a scribe and there is no means to get through to it except via cold print or electronic appearance in which the media explosives come out. Then the editor looked around and found other cars being subjected to such a thorough scrutiny by other groups of policemen. What could be the reason for such an active police alert with cops swarming all over? While he was being cleared by the police search party, he innocently asked: "Is the Police Commissioner Sahib on a surprise tour of the city today?" The policemen were baffled. One of them asked: "How did you know? That is supposed to be a secret." The policemen got the answer: "Simple, my dear policemen. If that was not the case, who would have the privilege of seeing so many smart looking policemen doing their duty so thoroughly and smartly? That does not happen every day, does it?
Bhatti Introduces New Rally Weapons

Jaspal Singh Bhatti, the country's biggest satirist on the small screen, had gone one-up in the art of public rallies. Earlier he had given the political life in the country deadly slogans like "Asatyamev Jayate"—only lies triumph. Now, entering the field of the rally kings and queens of India, he has belittled the rath yatras, the pardafash rallies, the lathi rallies and the sword and trishul rallies. He came out with the superhit "cannon rally" idea. In a very special appearance on the small screen, he produced the big rally idea, "the tope rally." His argument was very much like all his other arguments, taking a merciless fling at the hypocrisies that swarm Indian democracy. He pleaded: "If you want to use fear and threat as instruments of vote catching and compelling public opinion to your way of politics and life, why use small weapons and small threats? Why not use cannons." Watch out what the Big B of the Hypocrisy Blasters would be up to next! May be it would be a missile rally, a rally to kill all rallies in a hammer stroke at public hypocrisy.
  Rumour Diplomacy Rules Supreme


Soon after the surprise offer of peace and talks to Pakistan by Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee at a public meeting in Srinagar on April 18, the rumour warriors of India got busy in fouling the pitch as best as they could. The hint that India was willing to exchange High Commissioners with Pakistan as a confidence-building measure, besides resumption of road, rail and air links between the two countries, gave the unemployed rumour mongers a heaven-sent opportunity to get going with their art. They were quick to suggest that the Vajpayee Government's choice as the new High Commissioner of India in Islamabad would be either the Rajya Sabha member and journalist, Kuldip Nayyar, or the former Prime Minister Inder Kumar Gujral. Baffling indeed were these small rumour missiles fired by the political big mouths. It seemed they wanted to irk and irritate three-in-one, Vajpayee, Gujral and Nayyar. With the announcement of the name of Shiv Shankar Menon, a career diplomat, as the choice for being the new High Commissioner in Islamabad, the rumour diplomacy seemed to have failed. But please remember while India and Pakistan are also important nuclear powers, they are also among the leading rumour powers in the world and rumour is the most deadly WMD, weapon of mass destruction. Will the U. N. inspectors please look for these weapons too?

It’s "Ravi Darshan" for Laloo

Bihar's Big L, Laloo Prasad Yadav, is angry with Doordarshan, currently presided over by Information and Broadcasting Minister, Ravi Shankar Prasad. Laloo looks back in anger at the ‘inadequate coverage’ which Doordarshan gave to his highly picturesque "Lathi Rally" in Patna. He is so angry that he says that Doordarshan has now become "Ravi Darshan". Even without the ‘lathi’ he was shown oiling, along with wife and Chief Minister Rabri Devi during the electronic media coverage of the rally in Patna, the irrepressible Laloo, had issued threats of wielding his lathi power and his nari power against the rulers of Delhi. In his characteristic style, he is reported to have declared that Delhi could not fight the lathi shakti and mahila shakti, as from Tamil Nadu to Bihar and Bihar to Delhi, more and more women chief ministers had emerged and shall emerge to rule the country. But Laloo is Laloo and has his own very special dreams of "Yaduvansh" like the classic "Raghuvansh." He has let it be known that he has not only mahila shakti and lathi shakti but also the immense "Yadu shakti" to block the rulers of Delhi and their front-men. His next campaign would be "No Trishuls, no Togadias, no Mahila Bill as doctored by BJP and no Hindutva. Only Laloovad shall prevail." Watch out what comes next from the great Bihar Putra, The Big L.
BACK INTO THE LAP OF MOTHER CONGRESS

Congress President Sonia Gandhi's chief Man Friday, Vincent George must have smiled with great satisfaction when the Loktantrik Congres Rajya Sabha member and well-known scribe Rajiv Shukla suddenly decided to say farewell to the party which fielded him into the Rajya Sabha and return to the lap of Mother Congress. Vincent was said to be happy because he had one more important journalist in the Congress bandwagon and Rajiv Shukla was happy because there was some hope for the future in his political career which ran parallel to his more distinguished journalistic carer. Had he come to the Congress to further dilute the influence of Ambika Soni and the group led by her? Did he honestly consider that the Indian National Congress was finally going to sail into power with Sonia Gandhi as the future prime minister? Or was he in the Congress just to watch and understand what was happening inside? Who but Rajiv Shukla himself would know. Like the brook, the wags may fret and wags may fume, but he goes on for ever.

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