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IS THE POLICE COMMISSIONER ON THE ROUND?
The question asked by a well-known editor, very innocently, was indeed
not meant to dig a scoop. But it turned out to be one and shocked and
surprised the Delhi Police cops. Just driving by the Police Headquarters
the other day, his car was stopped by a group of policemen for a
thorough check-up. The law abiding but curious editor stopped and
submitted himself to the thorough police search, which, as usual, was
destined to yield nothing, for everything explosive and destructive is
generally stored in the head of a scribe and there is no means to get
through to it except via cold print or electronic appearance in which
the media explosives come out. Then the editor looked around and found
other cars being subjected to such a thorough scrutiny by other groups
of policemen. What could be the reason for such an active police alert
with cops swarming all over? While he was being cleared by the police
search party, he innocently asked: "Is the Police Commissioner Sahib on
a surprise tour of the city today?" The policemen were baffled. One of
them asked: "How did you know? That is supposed to be a secret." The
policemen got the answer: "Simple, my dear policemen. If that was not
the case, who would have the privilege of seeing so many smart looking
policemen doing their duty so thoroughly and smartly? That does not
happen every day, does it?
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Bhatti Introduces New Rally Weapons
Jaspal Singh Bhatti, the country's biggest satirist on the small screen,
had gone one-up in the art of public rallies. Earlier he had given the
political life in the country deadly slogans like "Asatyamev Jayate"—only
lies triumph. Now, entering the field of the rally kings and queens of
India, he has belittled the rath yatras, the pardafash rallies,
the lathi rallies and the sword and trishul rallies. He came out with
the superhit "cannon rally" idea. In a very special appearance on the
small screen, he produced the big rally idea, "the tope rally."
His argument was very much like all his other arguments, taking a
merciless fling at the hypocrisies that swarm Indian democracy. He
pleaded: "If you want to use fear and threat as instruments of vote
catching and compelling public opinion to your way of politics and life,
why use small weapons and small threats? Why not use cannons." Watch out
what the Big B of the Hypocrisy Blasters would be up to next! May be it
would be a missile rally, a rally to kill all rallies in a hammer stroke
at public hypocrisy.
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Rumour Diplomacy Rules Supreme
Soon after the surprise offer of peace and talks to
Pakistan by Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee at a public meeting in
Srinagar on April 18, the rumour warriors of India got busy in fouling
the pitch as best as they could. The hint that India was willing to
exchange High Commissioners with Pakistan as a confidence-building
measure, besides resumption of road, rail and air links between the two
countries, gave the unemployed rumour mongers a heaven-sent opportunity
to get going with their art. They were quick to suggest that the
Vajpayee Government's choice as the new High Commissioner of India in
Islamabad would be either the Rajya Sabha member and journalist, Kuldip
Nayyar, or the former Prime Minister Inder Kumar Gujral. Baffling indeed
were these small rumour missiles fired by the political big mouths. It
seemed they wanted to irk and irritate three-in-one, Vajpayee, Gujral
and Nayyar. With the announcement of the name of Shiv Shankar Menon, a
career diplomat, as the choice for being the new High Commissioner in
Islamabad, the rumour diplomacy seemed to have failed. But please
remember while India and Pakistan are also important nuclear powers,
they are also among the leading rumour powers in the world and rumour is
the most deadly WMD, weapon of mass destruction. Will the U. N.
inspectors please look for these weapons too?
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It’s "Ravi Darshan" for Laloo
Bihar's Big L, Laloo Prasad Yadav, is angry with
Doordarshan, currently presided over by Information and Broadcasting
Minister, Ravi Shankar Prasad. Laloo looks back in anger at the
‘inadequate coverage’ which Doordarshan gave to his highly picturesque "Lathi
Rally" in Patna. He is so angry that he says that Doordarshan has now
become "Ravi Darshan". Even without the ‘lathi’ he was shown oiling,
along with wife and Chief Minister Rabri Devi during the electronic
media coverage of the rally in Patna, the irrepressible Laloo, had
issued threats of wielding his lathi power and his nari
power against the rulers of Delhi. In his characteristic style, he is
reported to have declared that Delhi could not fight the lathi shakti
and mahila shakti, as from Tamil Nadu to Bihar and Bihar to
Delhi, more and more women chief ministers had emerged and shall emerge
to rule the country. But Laloo is Laloo and has his own very special
dreams of "Yaduvansh" like the classic "Raghuvansh." He has let it be
known that he has not only mahila shakti and lathi shakti
but also the immense "Yadu shakti" to block the rulers of Delhi
and their front-men. His next campaign would be "No Trishuls, no
Togadias, no Mahila Bill as doctored by BJP and no Hindutva. Only
Laloovad shall prevail." Watch out what comes next from the great
Bihar Putra, The Big L.
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BACK INTO THE LAP OF MOTHER CONGRESS
Congress President Sonia Gandhi's chief Man Friday, Vincent George must
have smiled with great satisfaction when the Loktantrik Congres Rajya
Sabha member and well-known scribe Rajiv Shukla suddenly decided to say
farewell to the party which fielded him into the Rajya Sabha and return
to the lap of Mother Congress. Vincent was said to be happy because he
had one more important journalist in the Congress bandwagon and Rajiv
Shukla was happy because there was some hope for the future in his
political career which ran parallel to his more distinguished
journalistic carer. Had he come to the Congress to further dilute the
influence of Ambika Soni and the group led by her? Did he honestly
consider that the Indian National Congress was finally going to sail
into power with Sonia Gandhi as the future prime minister? Or was he in
the Congress just to watch and understand what was happening inside? Who
but Rajiv Shukla himself would know. Like the brook, the wags may fret
and wags may fume, but he goes on for ever. |
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