A War Song for Bush..!

“The problem with Iraq,” said President Bush, looking thoughtfully at the songwriter standing in front of him, “is that I don’t have a good war song for the troops and for the ‘Merican folks!”

“Mr President you’ve come to the right guy,” said the songwriter, “what you need are lines that will have tears rolling down the cheeks of the troops as they fight!”

“They’ve already got tears of homesickness rolling down,” said Bush, “I need something more than just tears!”

“Mr President you’ve come to the correct guy,” said the songwriter as he whistled a tune, “would you like something like this?”

“Sounds mighty good,” said Bush impressed, “isn’t a Second World War patriotic song, the troops sang before landing in Germany?”

“No sir!”

“Is it the one the British whistled when they built the bridge on the River Kwai?”

“No sir, its Humpty Dumpty!”

“It’s a great tune!”

“It could galvanize the troops!”

“It could spur the nation forward! You’re a genius! What we need are good words for the tune!”

“Mr President you’ve come to the right guy,” said the songwriter, “I’ve written many songs for many Presidents as my referrals will show you!”

“You have written one for my good friend President Musharraf?” said Bush looking through the papers.

“Yes and see how well its worked for Pakistan! Let me sing it for you! ‘A bang, bang here, and a bomb, bomb there, here a bang, there a bomb, everywhere a bang bomb, Ole Musharraf rules a land, Bang, bomb, bang, bomb grand!”

“That last line…” said President Bush uneasily.

“I have a problem with last lines,” said the songwriter, “but the general liked it!”

“Why here’s one for my old pal Blair!” said the President holding up the next sheet, “Its got my name in it too: Blair and Bush went to Iraq, to get a pail of oil, Blair fell down and lost his crown and Bush will soon thereafter!”

“I don’t like the last line..”

“I told you I have a problem with last lines!”

“Did Blair ask you to write this?”

“No Brown!”

“So what do you think you could write for America, something that will have all the folks out with their banjos and guitars singing away to glory!”

“What about, ‘President Bush he sat on a wall, President Bush he had a great fall, All the senators, the soldiers and men, Couldn’t put the President back there again!”

“I don’t think you have a problem with only the last line,” said Bush angrily.

 Lalu’s Lunch..!

’A hungry man is an angry man….’ English Proverb

Indian Railways Minister Lalu Prasad Yadav, transferred a senior railway officer immediately because Lalu’s lunch was not unpacked when it was served to him!

“The railway minister reminds me of the steam engines of yore!” chuckled an old Anglo- Indian guard whose father had also served in the railways during the time of the British Raj. “One problem working with those engines was that you became as ferocious and violent as them!”

“I agree with you,” said an engine driver who had just walked in, “If a steam engine wasn’t shoveled coal in time it would thrash about like a wild stallion! I remember once as a young rookie driver I forgot to feed coal into its furnace!”

“What happened?” asked the guard.

“It ground to a halt and I was thrown out!”

“Just like Lalu!”

“Just like Lalu!”

A young motorman joined the two and asked:

“Any thing else similar?”

“Oh yes, yes,” chuckled the old Anglo- Indian guard, “I remember my father saying it took a lot of grease to keep old ironsides going!”

“Grease?” asked the young motorman looking a little confused.

“Well the old steam engine needed grease to keep its levers moving!”

“So?”

“Files move faster, when you grease the master!”

The three railway employees laughed, then the young motorman became serious as he looked at his two seniors, “Do you think it was right on the minister to transfer our boss?”

“Of course!” said the old Anglo Indian guard.

“Of course!” said the engine driver and the young motorman watched in astonishment as the two pretended they were a train and started huffing, puffing and moving like one on the floor.

Koo, oo, ooo! Chuk chuk, chuk, chuk! Chuk, chuk, chuk, chuk!

“What are you doing?” asked the startled young motorman.

“If Lalu says he wants his lunch,

Or something else he wants to munch

If Lalu says he wants to eat.

Or maybe chew a little sweet.

Koo, oo, oo! Chuk, chuk, chuk, chuk

Koo, oo, oo! Chuk, chuk, chuk, chuk!’

Whatever Lalu wants to eat, a banana or just a sweet.

Or chappatis made out of wheat

Whenever Lalu wants to eat,

Never ever, no never never.

Koo, oo, oo! Chuk, chuk, chuk, chuk

Serve it neat..!