Naked Vegetarians..!

There's not a day when newspapers don't show naked girls behind placards pleading with people to stop eating animals. My neighbour, a staunch non-vegetarian seemed to have finally succumbed to their emotional blackmail. "Poor girls!" he muttered last night, "I think I'll become a veggie for their sakes!"

I saw him looking at a tree in his compound this morning, "I've told my cook to cook those leaves for lunch!"

"That's a mango tree," I said, "You eat the fruit and not the leaves!"

"You can't put those leaves into a curry?"

"Maybe raw mangoes," I said, "you eat the ripe ones raw and cook the raw ones!"

"This is very confusing," said my neighbour as he scratched his head and stared at the ripe mangoes on the tree. "What happens if I eat the leaves?"

"I don't know," I said.

"What happens if I ate the raw mangoes raw and put the ripe mangoes into a curry?"

"Again I don't know," I said helplessly.

"What about cauliflower?"

"What about it?" I asked.

"Do I eat it cooked or uncooked?"

"You can't eat it uncooked," I said disgustedly.

"I'm sorry I didn't know," said my neighbour, now beginning to look a little worried, "What about this fruit?" he said pulling something out of the ground.

"It's a carrot," I said, "it's not a fruit or vegetable, it's a root, but can be eaten like a vegetable!"

"A root eaten like a vegetable but not a vegetable?" asked my neighbour, "so its allowed isn't it. I mean as a vegetarian I can eat it?"

"Sure you can," I said patting him on the back.

"This vegetarianism business is going to be a long, long journey," he said. "is it okay if I eat this vegetable?"

"It's not a vegetable," I said looking at the onion he was holding out to me.

"It's a fruit?"

"No," I said.

"Let me guess, it's a root?"

"No," I said, "its a bulb!"

"A bulb," said my neighbour throwing the onion away quickly, "dammit I don't want to get electrocuted chewing a bulb! I thought becoming a vegetarian was safe?"

"It is," I said.

"And do you eat the bulb cooked?" 

"Raw tastes good," I said patiently.

I saw my neighbour walking into his house and coming back with today's newspaper: "What are you doing?" I asked.

"I think its okay!" he said.

"What is?" I asked patiently.

"I think I can manage staring at these naked women without getting upset; its much easier than becoming veggies like them..!"