When I started my computer to begin this article, the first thing that came to mind were lines from a song of the comedy film ‘Love ke liye kuch bhi karega’, which, though failed to produce any magic at the box-office, yet its songs became massively popular and was on the lips of most boys and girls who do not tire of repeating its lines to each other even today. No doubt, people in love can go to any extent and history is replete with great lovers like Laila-Majnu, Heer-Ranjha, Shireen-Farhad, Mirza-Sahiba, and in more recent times, the Aishwarya Rai-Salman Khan imbroglio. Their affection, genuine, contrived or artificial, has a kind of magical effect on these love-birds and they generally are prepared to take on the world to prove that their love is true. Bollywood has made innumerable movies on this subject; Love Story, Love, Pyar to Hona hi Tha, Pyar Kiya to Darna Kya, Maine Pyar Kiya; the list is endless. These are just a few. In fact, every second or third film made in Bollywood is based on this subject. This is a subject for all seasons and the most hot and everlasting topic with directors and producers.

Love knows no boundaries and has no caste, colour or creed; it is above everything. Some find spirituality in it whereas for others it is a purely physical act. But both kinds of couples like to describe themselves as lovers, and ‘genuine’ ones at that.

The definition of love has not changed ever since the evolution of mankind, though its style and ways of expression have kept up with the march of time. The older generation (I am from the younger one) used to be more secretive in expressing their love whereas today everything is done khullam-khulla and in bindaas style without any inhibitions. It is in keeping with the age of permissiveness.

Today people have more freedom and the intermingling of sexes is not considered taboo. Both boys and girls receive education under the same roof, they exchange knowledge, jokes, snacks and sweet little nothings. It is not that they meet only in the ‘groves of academia’; with liberalisation of society and the change in social mores and attitudes, more and more women are stepping out of their cloistered homes—going to office, setting up businesses and taking to professions and vocations that were once considered only male bastions. Thus, opportunities to meet the opposite sex have increased and somewhere or the other, Mr. Right, or the supposedly Mr. Right, is round the corner. Result: love blooms.

N. P. Nawani, an IAS officer who retired after a long innings in the Government said: "With the broadened outlook of society, everything has changed. Earlier, girls were not allowed to talk freely with boys. The only time both the sexes got a chance to meet were during festivals or at Saraswati, Kali or Durga pujas. Otherwise, girls could only meet boys for strictly academic purposes—solving queries, exchanging notes and helping each other out with lessons." Reminiscing on his younger days he said: "We used to get together in parks but girls used to play with their own ilk and not like today when girls and boys play together."

Today nobody objects, or even looks askance, at a girl holding the hand of a boy or walking down the street arm-in-arm. The ‘who cares’ and "I don’t care’ attitude has been adopted by society in general. Boys and girls have also become fearless and more open.

Walk around any park in Delhi like Buddha Garden, Lodhi Garden, Talkatora or any of the historical monuments that dot the capital like Purana Quila or the Madarsa. One will find couples sitting close together, hugging and petting. Ensconced in their own little world of love, or whatever it is, they are oblivious to the world at large. At Buddha Garden, a security-in-charge of Delhi Police, Subhash Chandra, said: "Nothing can stop them from expressing their love, be it the blazing sun, freezing winter, thunderous showers or prying, and sometimes deliberately curious, eyes."

But do couples have a choice? Especially when there is practically no space where they can be together and fan their emotions. Noted writer and journalist Khushwant Singh lamented the fact that lovers are not left with any private place to go to. He said: "Couples have no privacy anywhere. Everywhere they will find someone or the other following them. In parks, security guards make life hell for them and on less frequented roads, there is always the fear of a PCR (Police Control Room) van drawing up to harass you."

In the olden days, there were many places with privacy but very few opportunities. Today, it is the other way round; there are numerous couples prepared to be together but no where really to go and sit in peace

Shailesh Aggarwal , who has seen seven decades of life, admitted: "The only excuse girls could make those days was to visit a girl friend’s house or return books borrowed from a boy. Usually, the books exchanged doubled up as postmen: that was one of the few ways to pass a letter between the pages of the book to a beloved."

Anandita Nair (57) was of the same opinion. "Though there were many places where couples could visit, evading the eyes of the people, the opportunities to do so were very rare."

The older generation tells me that formerly most restaurants used to have cabins for couples (usually called ‘families’) where they could sit without the fear of being seen. Cinema halls had boxes and couples often used to buy the three or four tickets for seats in the entire box to ensure complete privacy. This is the statement of a self-confessed womaniser.

Another retired person, Anand Srivastava, said: "During the Sixties, there used to be a popular restaurant called Caves in Greater Kailash, which was completely dark inside. Attendants used torches to guide you to your seat and place your orders on the table. Couples thronged this place for the privacy it provided. One could not even see what was happening at the table next to you. There was one more restaurant of this kind in Greater Kailash Market.

But now, though couples have innumerable choices of restaurants, nowhere are they free to be by themselves.

Twenty-two-year-old Shubha Verma generally goes with her boy friend either to PVR, 3Cs or McDonald as she considers them the most happening places and said: "At these places, you can find many couples of more or less the same age group as you who are lost in themselves and ‘doing their own thing’ and are not bothered about others." She prefers to move in a car with her boy friend to reduce the chances of being ‘caught’ by family or relatives. Besides, as she puts it, rather brazenly: In a car it is easy to fondle and play with each other."

Parks too are visited. Thakur Bhatt said: "Parks can be like heaven for couples if security guards are removed. They are a safe option, for here two persons can be together and have a heart-to-heart talk without waiters hovering around you as in a restaurant."

Tusshar Aggarwal (20) mentioned that dating had become really expensive nowadays. "Whether you go to a park or a restaurant, money is needed. In parks, you might have to ‘bribe’ the security guards to ensure privacy and being left alone. Besides, love alone does not fill stomachs. One needs food too, and restaurants are not everyone’s cup of tea in terms of affordability."

But Prerna Kathuria of Hansraj College refuted this and said: I don’t burden my boyfriend with my expenses. I prefer to go Dutch. Why should a boy pay for everything on a date when both are enjoying the occasion?" She does not mind getting physical with a boy if she likes him. She was quite frank about it: "What is the harm if I get physical with a boy I like? After all, is it not a basic human need? Why shy away from it?"

S. K. Swamy, who runs a successful advertising agency and who has spent most of his 60 years in Delhi, pointed out that the present generation is more vocal in what they want from their partners. "During our days, it took a lot of time to persuade a girl to even come for a ride on a cycle. She would think 10 times before deciding. Love affairs were few, and if somebody did ‘fall in love’, it would be generally the serious kind looking for permanence and stability in the relationship unlike in the present generation for whom having a steady is just a matter of keeping up with the Joneses. Pen-friendship with the opposite sex was popular and was a harmless but satisfying option."

The emergence of E-mail and short messaging services has completely changed the logistics of love and affection. Earlier, the only way of expressing one’s feelings, besides speaking to each other, was through letters. Many old Hindi films highlighted this method with songs like ‘Phool tumhe bheja hai khat mein’ and ‘Yeh mera prem patra padh kar’. In not too recent times, how can one forget ‘Kabootar ja-ja-ja.’ But today all that has changed. This is the age of techno-love; people prefer to say sms/e-mail ja-ja-ja which is a far cry from the days of Kalidasa who asked the clouds to deliver his message to his beloved.

I asked some couples whether they thought that modern love styles had killed romanticism; the anguish of waiting desperately for a letter from one’s beloved and running down the steps to open the door every time the postman rang. Twenty three-year old Shivani Sharma said: "Now one does not need to toss around in bed pining for one’s partner; he is just a few mouseclicks away. One has so many options—telephone, sms or e-mail. Moreover, these are safer options as compared to letters as the chances of one’s ‘outpourings of the heart’ being pried upon by outsiders or ‘caught’ by the family are minimal."

The types of gifts exchanged now and in the bygone era have also changed. "In the Sixties, couples rarely gave each other expensive gifts; at the most, it would be something like a perfumed letter or a book," said S. K. Swamy.

Daryaganj Archies Gallery in-charge Pushpa Moolchandani said: "In the Eighties, couples used to give decoration pieces of stone, brass or marble. The range of greeting cards was very small and they were not popular as they are today when you have cards for every occasion imaginable. There used to be an album with samples of cards and after you had chosen from them the shopkeeper would give one from his stock. The concept of picking a card yourself has been introduced by Archies."

Expression Greetings, Lajpat Nagar, Central Market in-charge M. S. Kohli said: "The present generation has infinite things to choose from for gifts. But youngsters mostly like to buy gifts that can express the feeling in their heart like a showpiece with a message. Cards and chocolates have always been favourites. Those who are dependent on their parents for pocket money generally buy gifts in the range of rupees hundred to three hundred but for others, there is no limit.

The picture we have drawn is just of metropolitan cities. In small places or in villages, girls rarely interact with boys. A girl having a boy friend is considered ‘characterless’ and ostracised. One can not think of a girl in a rural area or from a rural background talking so blatantly about love and sex. The trends of love might have changed in the metros but people in small places still prefer to arrange marriages for their children. The children too accept this system with grace, in keeping with Indian tradition and culture. There are arranged marriages in the metros too, but rare are the ones which are not some kind of business arrangement between the parents of the two families.

The permissiveness and the promiscuity that has followed it have affected society in many corroding ways. There have been many reports in the recent past of the increasing number of teenage pregnancies and abortions. (Last week, there was a report of a schoolgirl in one of the top public schools, caught with a bottle of liquor in her schoolbag). Likewise, there is an increasing number of neurotic cases, especially among girls, who enter into an affair seeking a long-term arrangement, but are generally turned down by their ‘boyfriend’ who, in the ultimate analysis, turns out to be some one who was just out for a good time and nothing else. These evils are increasing. Children are "starting young and ending young" with scars on their psyche that will torment them for the rest of their life, said a leading social psychologist. A society cannot be made strong with such weak elements.